I m 38 years old, and in essence I have been living with multiple sclerosis for 32 years. Formally, the diagnosis has not been fully closed—there are still rare theoretical possibilities such as hypomyelination or leukodystrophy—but the likelihood of those is extremely low. The most honest and accurate description today is this: secondary progressive multiple sclerosis, a chronic autoimmune degenerative disease of the central nervous system.Where I live and why
I currently live in Belgorod. I moved here before the war and chose the city purely for practical reasons. Belgorod is one of the most accessible cities in Russia for wheelchair users: sidewalks, curb cuts, and overall infrastructure make it possible to move around relatively freely.
There is also a climate factor. Compared to Syktyvkar, there is significantly less snow here. This means that for most of the year I can use a regular wheelchair without having to rely on heavy, all-terrain models. In winter, of course, movement is still difficult for a couple of months, but in spring and autumn there is almost no snow, and temperatures are usually above zero, sometimes even hot.
The building where I live is also fairly accessible—I can leave the house independently in my wheelchair, which has a major impact on my quality of life.
Work, income, and gaming for money
At the moment, I work in two main areas. I do freelance work as an SEO and SMM specialist, and I also earn money in the gaming industry by leveling accounts in World of Warcraft, both in the retail version and in Classic.
My income cannot be called high, but for one person it fully covers all basic needs.
A book not everyone understood
I wrote a book. It is deep, complex, and, frankly, not aimed at a mass audience. It focuses on ideas related to the spatial function of movement, postural reflexes, neural network control, and how the brain manages complex motor functions.
For an unprepared reader, it is genuinely difficult. The book is more for specialists and for people who are genuinely interested in neurophysiology, cerebral palsy, spinal injuries, and multiple sclerosis. Unfortunately, the audience for such topics is very narrow, so there is no point in talking about serious financial results.
Nevertheless, the project is alive: there are views on YouTube, the blog continues to develop, and I have launched a Telegram channel and revived VK. I do not write there often, but I do post when I have something to say.
About the disease and its progression
At present, I do not observe any active progression of the disease. Subjectively, it seems to have stopped somewhere around the age of 28–30. Over time, I came to understand an important thing: the problem is not strength, not speed, and not endurance.
The problem lies in the width of the neural network controller, in the generalization of connections. What I am losing is not raw force output, but the brain’s ability to effectively control movement through a broad neural network. Accordingly, the key task is to restore and expand this generalization.
Looking back, I see serious mistakes made during adolescence, when I narrowed the range of exercises too early and effectively allowed pathological processes to develop in the corticospinal tract. This happened between the ages of 14 and 24—a period that cost me dearly.
Otherwise, my condition is stable. There are bouts of insomnia and some strange “bugs” in how my body works, but considering that my central nervous system is, figuratively speaking, full of holes, this is inevitable.
What comes next
I continue to support and develop the Happy Bay project and look ahead with cautious interest. What will life look like after 35 years with multiple sclerosis? After 40? Where will this path ultimately lead me?
For now, the result is what it is. It is not ideal, but it is not catastrophic either. Yes, I have made many serious mistakes. But I am still here—I think, I work, I create, and I keep moving forward.
Thank you to everyone who reads and watches. I will definitely keep writing and showing how all of this continues to unfold.
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